Active listening: the foundation of counseling

90% of good counseling is listening in a way that lets the person hear themselves. Techniques: PARAPHRASING (“so you feel…”), REFLECTING emotion (“that hurt”), OPEN questions (“how is that for you?” not “why?”), PAUSES (3 seconds of silence extends the thought). Taboos: “me too”, “don’t worry”, “have you tried…” — unsolicited advice kills the conversation.

• ●Exercise: listen 3 minutes without any advice — only ask
• ●“Why are you like this?” sounds like a trial → “what happened?” like help
• ●Nod, look, don’t interrupt — the body listens louder than words