Conflicts: de-escalation instead of winning

A conflict is not a duel over who is right but a clash of interests. Glasl’s escalation ladder: complaints → personal attacks → “always/never” → threats → explosion. Climb down from the bottom: step one — I-STATEMENTS (“it’s hard for me when…”, not “you always!”). Step two — legitimize feelings (“I get that this annoys”). Step three — interest instead of position: “why do you want the window?” → “it’s stuffy” instead of “open-close”. Win-win is built on interests, not positions.

• ●Formula: fact → feeling → request. “Door slammed → I jumped → quieter possible?”
• ●20-minute pause during flare-ups: adrenaline floods — arguments don’t land
• ●Apology ≠ guilt admission: “sorry it went this way” opens doors